The bane of my existance

Alright. Today I officially developed the most serious, non life threatening affliction that mankind has ever known. I never knew pain like this could exist without it actually being physically harmful. I developed an ITCH.

Yes, that's right. An itch. ITCH ITCH ITCH ITCH IT.

Ugh. I know what you're thinking. The very word brings to mind unsightly rashes, hives, raised red skin, VD, all that. But mine's different--it's only on the bottoms of my feet, and there are no physical indicators of the condition I am suffering.

Like seriously, I came home today and crashed on the couch for an hour after watching a few episodes of Entourage. I woke up and boom, I was in sheer agony. Itch itch itch. Swell swell swell. Apparently I had some kind of crazy allergic reaction to some unknown substance. I mean for breakfast I had a potato skillet with veggies and chicken. I had two cups of coffee. Three glasses of water. That's it. We are talking the kind of itching that makes a woman lose her mind. LOSE HER DAMN MIND. I felt like I was going crazy. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to rip my hair out and smash television screens with a baseball bat. I popped cold medicine because it was the only thing I had, I prayed that it had some sort of antihistimine in it. The Itch subsided. I laid on my bed and wrapped a cool compress around my feet to bring the swelling down. Then The Itch came back. With a vengeance. Then I called my mother.

Anyways, long story short, my sister delivered to me some benedryl [i could only hobble, that's how bad it was]. Actually I had to go with her to get the benedryl since she brought the wrong kind, and I had a major freakout, but details details.

At this point I am all dopey on antihistamines and the itching is gone, but the pads of my feet are still kind of swollen. SO weird. This is bizarre. What kind of mutant am I? I hope this goes away by tomorrow. It ruined my whole day. I'm going to bed at 9:18 because at this point I am prying my eyes open, trying to hold back the drowsy.

On a positive note, this makes me realize what people who actually have real afflictions go through on a daily basis. I will never take having non-itchy feet for granted again.